... I gave up going to Mass, Father.
Myself and Lutz have an idea for some invisible theatre on Good Friday. We're gonna stand at the head of the queue in the canteen and make sure that everyone has the fish. We're going to be the Crispy Soldiers of Christ - living patron saints of battered cod.
Good saint -
You'll try the fish, you will? Good girl. Don't ya know that for every ham sandwich ate today, an angel drops dead of an aneurysm?
Bad saint -
Sausages! Sausages! Our Lord didn't get himself hammered to a couple a lengths of four be four out foreign just so you can stuff mate into your face!
From past experience, I think the canteen ladies will be on our side.