Florists have it in for me.
Last week, I ordered some flowers to be delivered this morning. They never came. So I went to the shop and asked, very politely - where the hell are the roses?!
The owner and his partner (they're both French) try to tear me a new one - we couldn't find anyone at ze address!
The fucking nerve. So I stood up to the two, gay, French florists and demanded they deliver the flowers! And they did.
Reminds me of another run-in I had with flower arrangers (they hate me!) a few years ago in Sligo. I was in FAS at the time and it was a Friday and I had to go home to Mohill for some mass and I had to bring the flowers. So I called in the order from FAS that morning. But when I went in to collect them that evening, they'd only gone and lost the order. There were three men in the shop, the guy who took the order, the guy who lost the order and the boss, who said they never got the order. I was with Pat - this fellow in FAS from Castlebar. Pat rarely said much but when he did, it was always a classic.
So the boss flower arranger got annoyed with me when I told him what I thought. He started going on about the pressure on him in the flower trade and I should cut him some slack and I couldn't believe what I was hearing until Pat said to him -I don't know what you're so annoyed about - pointed to me -he's the one who ordered a bunch of flowers but ended up with a bunch of wankers.
I didn't get the flowers but I laughed all the way home.