The Crucible

Sligo County Youth Theatre present

The Crucible

by Arthur Miller
The Factory Performance Space, Quay St., Sligo
Thursday 1st, Friday 2nd and Saturday 3rd March at 8pm
€15/12

Valentines for my woman

Florists have it in for me.

Last week, I ordered some flowers to be delivered this morning. They never came. So I went to the shop and asked, very politely - where the hell are the roses?!

The owner and his partner (they're both French) try to tear me a new one - we couldn't find anyone at ze address!

The fucking nerve. So I stood up to the two, gay, French florists and demanded they deliver the flowers! And they did.

--

Reminds me of another run-in I had with flower arrangers (they hate me!) a few years ago in Sligo. I was in FAS at the time and it was a Friday and I had to go home to Mohill for some mass and I had to bring the flowers. So I called in the order from FAS that morning. But when I went in to collect them that evening, they'd only gone and lost the order. There were three men in the shop, the guy who took the order, the guy who lost the order and the boss, who said they never got the order. I was with Pat - this fellow in FAS from Castlebar. Pat rarely said much but when he did, it was always a classic.

So the boss flower arranger got annoyed with me when I told him what I thought. He started going on about the pressure on him in the flower trade and I should cut him some slack and I couldn't believe what I was hearing until Pat said to him -I don't know what you're so annoyed about - pointed to me -he's the one who ordered a bunch of flowers but ended up with a bunch of wankers.

I didn't get the flowers but I laughed all the way home.

Bigger than rugby

From today's Irish Independent. (I'd use the report from the Times if they were to bother doing one!)

Leitrim score historic victory over Offaly

Leitrim 0-11

Offaly 0-10

LEITRIM caused the shock of the day when they deservedly defeated hot favourites Offaly in their Div 2A clash at Cloone yesterday.

The return of Fintan McBrien to the Leitrim attack aided by Ciarán Duignan and Michael Foley proved a handful for the Offaly defence and Leitrim raced into an early lead.

Offaly stayed in touch through the impressive Niall McNamee but Leitrim deservedly led 0-8 to 0-5 at half-time.

Immediately on the resumption, Ciarán Duignan point from play put Leitrim further ahead but it proved to be a wake-up call for the Offaly men as they rallied strongly to save the game.

The game was level until Leitrim hero Shane Foley grabbed the winning point two minutes into extra time.

SCORERS - Leitrim: C Duignan 0-5 (3f), M Foley (1f), C Kennedy, F McBrien 0-2 each, S Foley 0-1. Offaly: N McNamee 0-8 (2f), C McManus, PJ Ward (1f), S Ryan 0-1 each.

LEITRIM - N Gill; B McWeeney, J McKeon (capt), D Reynolds; C Kennedy, B Prior, S Foley; M Duignan, G McCloskey, C Regan; M Foley, B Brennan; F McBrien, C Duignan, J Glancy. Subs: D Beck for B Brennan, D Brennan for F McBrien, S Canning for G McCloskey.

OFFALY - K Meehan; G Rafferty, J Quinn, N Grennan; K Slattery, S Sullivan, E Byrne; C McManus, K Hogan; S Brady, PJ Ward, A McNamee (capt), T Deehan, N Coughlan, N McNamee. Subs: S Ryan for K Hogan, P McConway for E Byrne, K Casey for T Deehan, J Coughlan for PJ Ward, J Reynolds for S Brady.

REF - M Sludden (Tyrone)

AAAAAAAAAADRRRRRRIAAAAAAANNNNN!!!

I went to see Rocky Balboa a couple of weeks ago. An awful stupid film; way too sentimental. Also, it's nothing new - just a rehash of the original.

I loved it. From the very start, when that music played, I was just grinning. Why did I love it? It's got great heart, that's why. Well done Sylvester Stallone, you deserve the Oscar again!

--

Saturday morning, before I saw Rocky, myself and herself are just getting up. We're listening the movie show on Lyric. They'd said that they'd be discussing Rocky soon. After a bit, they played an iconic piece of music from the eighties. I hopped out of bed, grabbed my gown (with a hood and all) and started shadow boxing on the bed. Trish came out of the en suite, looks at me for a second and says - you know that's the music to Magnum PI, right?

--

Walking into town, I told Bob this story in front of Trish and she says - I never said that!

Me - doesn't matter; it's funny.
Trish - but I wouldn't know the music to Magnum.
Me - look, you don't let the truth in the way of a good story.
Trish - it's not even that funny-
Me - well, of course it isn't now after you ruining it!
Trish - you're an eejit.
Bob - oh, I forgot something in the house, I'll catch up with you.

Heart

She's amazing. She makes me laugh whenever I think of her. She's mad, crazier than me even. She's beautiful. She's smart, a scientist, don't ya know. She eats lots. She's decent, thinks about everyone else. She's cool. She's odd, her laugh makes me laugh. She's hot. She's mine, I still don't believe it at times. She's from Mayo!

Spielberg

How did these geeks give us Indy?






When I saw this shot on the website, I actually felt a shiver down my spine.

German engineering

Here's a photo of a fine specimen of a man from the Lidl website. I showed it to Bob who wondered how he got his hands down there....

Paris Report #2

Well, the rest of the visit to Paris was just what we wanted. It was chilled out and the city just looked stunning. One beautiful memory is walking arm-in-arm around the winding streets of Saint Severin at night, looking for a jazz club. The Christmas lights, the crisp cold night, the Mayo woman on my arm, the tiny streets, the peace and quiet... I knew at the time that I would cherish this forever.

On our last night, Cormac drove us through the city and we were blown away by the lights.

Thanks Cormac for putting us up and putting up with us. Next stop... Lyon!

Paris report #1

Trish and I arrived in Paris today. The bauld Crossan picked us up at Beauvais and we've had a lovely, chilled-out Sunday. We've had dinner, cooked by Cormac and Yoshimi and I've left pastries behind in a bakery. In fact, we weren't in Paris five minutes and I was wandering around the streets with a baguette.

We've caught mass in Notre Dame! (The old man would be impressed.) Had coffee and a cigar in a cafe and now we're digging into more grub.

Paris at Christmas is a sight to see.

Trish says hi.

They tried to string me up... FOUR times

But I survived, almost.

Plus ca Change was my first play since Frank Pig Says Hello. This is the best bunch of Drama Society heads that I've ever worked with. The first time under Bob and also a good chance for Niall to strangle me - something he's wanted to do since he became my project supervisor, twenty odd years ago.




























































































Bob - Lucky, very lucky not to get cut....

Ghost horses?

I sent Tom Dunne an email.

--


Tom,

I'm a bit of a Radiohead fan and one song that always brings a smile to my face (not often you can say that about a Radiohead song) is "You And Whose Army?" from Amnesiac .

It's a great singalong number if you're odd and it's one I love listening to on my headphones as I walk around Sligo town, singing out loud.

There was one line in the song I was unsure off and since I'm thinking of blasting out "Whose Army" at Open Mic soon, I thought I'd look up the lyrics online. Imagine my shock to find out that I've been singing the end of the song all wrong?!

Instead of repeating "you and whose army?" like I thought, it goes:

You forget so easily
We ride tonight
We ride tonight
Ghost horses
Ghost horses
Ghost horses
We ride tonight
We ride tonight
Ghost horses
Ghost horses
Ghost horses..

Who? What? Where? Whole different song now. In fact, it's even better.

Anyways, just thought I'd let you know what's been happening with me.

Your listener,
John The Bad.

Burn

New piece on 269 called Burn.

Wonder why they got rid off Mailbag....

I left the following on someone's voice mail in RTE about ten minutes ago.


"Hi. I've a question. Why am I not watching Kill Bill? I mean it was on half an hour ago but now I'm seeing that it's raining in Scandinavia. I guess what I really wanna know is, why did you put the news and weather in the middle of Tarantino's 4th film? And not only did you put it in the middle of the movie, you put it in the middle of the massive fight scene! In the middle of the fight scene! You know, the whole film has been building up to this fight scene, and you put the news and weather in the middle of it!

The weather's finished. I'm now watching an ad for a film with Michael Caine. I see, it's on tomorrow night. I guess you're gonna stick the news into it too. Ok, the trailer's finished. Hang on.. yup... you guessed it... ads! Well well well. You know this is why I don't watch TV. I get out videos. I also download stuff. Do you want to know what's happening on Lost? I'm up to date with ABC. Anyway, please stop putting ads in the middle of Tarantino movies or I'll said Uma Thurman over to stick a samurai sword up your-." Beeeeeeeep.

Blood on the stage

Here's the poster for the new show. We're on in the college Black Box on Wednesday... just read the poster, ok?

--

Today, while we were rehearsing, we started to throw each other across the space or as Bob said, "fuck him over there."

At one stage, brave Colum Enright cut his foot and we ended up with his blood on the Black Box floor. The man soldiered on.

Blood on the stage - we're getting closer to the Raincoats all the time.

And it stoned me to my soul

Martin Stone is coming to get ya!

U-24/7

Wow. One moment of doubt and my faith is back as strong as ever.

I haven't got all U2's singles and B-sides. What I do have, I ripped and put the mp3s into a folder ages ago. I went back to it the other day and added some new mp3s and tidied it up and I've been listening to it ever since. That's 46 songs or approximately 3 hours and 20 minutes of U2.

Listening to singles and b-sides is a cool thing to do. You get to hear where the band started and where they are now. You get to hear the single releases of the greatest band in the world (TM: U2) and you get to hear stuff you'd normally miss - like Willie Nelson singing a song that U2 wrote for him called "Slow Dancing."

I guess they still matter.

21

At some stage today, Bob will make his way back out to the Venue in Strandhill and find his head. Until then, we have no pictures from last night.

Allow me to say that Ellen's 21st Glam Rocking Kickass Party was fantastic! What a night?! The get-up of everyone; brilliant outfits. Alan - I'll never look at you the same way again. Cathy's cross-dressing. Playing gay-chicken with Brian (actually, I don't wanna think about that). Pat riding Bosco up the arse. Ellen's speech - shuuut uup. Some gobshite dancing on his own at the start before Duck and Trish saved him. Trish's dyed hair. My wig. Duck... Duck... DUCK! DUCK BELONGS ON STAGE.

Ellen! I want you to have a 21st every Saturday.

Kung fu mudafucka!

Window in the skies

U2.

I've been a fan all my life. No song was a bad song and Bono could do or say no wrong.

They were Irish - not to be a U2 fan was downright unpatriotic. They sang about Northern Ireland and Martin Luther King and San Salvador. Being a U2 fan was a serious job.

Then came Achtung Baby and the madness of Zoo TV and U2 became fun. With "Elevation", they were unspeakably cool. With Bono's extra-curricular work, they were always right. At Slane, I was in the presence of grace.

U2 - the sons of God made gods of rock.

But things started to change.

I learned more about third world debt and I wondered if Bono was going about things in the right way. Live 8 worried me. Then I read No Logo and that nailed it; the man was wrong. Despite what he sang in An Atomic Bomb, his methods were crumbs from the rich man's table.

A change in tax laws for millionaires saw U2 move their company out of Ireland. Fuck that, I thought.

--

All in all though, what's that got to do with the music?

Good point. I was a U2 fan for the music from the very start. Even if I don't agree with Bono, what does it matter as long as I love the songs?

However, I have heard cracks in the soundtrack. First were the Best Of's. Ok, they were a way to get my hands on some B-Sides but I didn't like the idea of U2 releasing Best Of compilations.

Then came Bono's work on "What's Going On?" It was a terrible song but it was for charity and he had tried a good charity song with Wycleff that had bombed so I couldn't blame him really.

And then the unthinkable. A couple of songs on How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb were just south of naff!

--

John The Bad said what?! Sounds of breaking furniture and raised voices. A woman screams.

--

I know, I know but it's the truth. There's something about "Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own" that, while it doesn't near make me cringe, it does fail to click for me. It's not that I don't buy the song - it's about Bono's dead father! - but I just find it a little... off.

So, lately, I've found myself loosing some interest in U2. I was starting to realise that they didn't matter as much anymore. Tell a rock band that they no longer matter and they'll tell you they'd be better off dead.

Trish got me Zoo TV for my birthday on DVD and while I loved seeing it again, I couldn't help but feel that things were better back then.

U2 fell off my radar.

To make things worse, a couple of weeks ago, I heard that they were releasing another Best Of. They've taken their earlier Best Of 80's and Best Of 90's to bring us... well, the Best Of the Best Of's. 18 songs that include a couple of new ones. U2 going for the Xmas market, again.

One of the new songs is called "Window In The Skies." I heard it last week on Tom Dunne and to be honest I was only half listening. Then Tony Fenton played it today and I gave it a proper listen.

The song played in my headphones and I grinned from ear to ear.

It's just great. It's about love with a capital L. It's beautiful. It's serious. It's fun. It's cool. It's U2.

God hasn't left the building yet.

And so it is....

Mohill lost to Corofin in the Connacht Club Championship. Hard luck men. We'll be back.

I apologise for the language that follows....

Yesterday in Croke Park was a disgrace.

I recommend you all read Tom Humphries in today's Irish Times. He sums the whole thing up much better than I can.

After ten minutes of complete thuggery from what I can only call Aussie scumbags, we lost four, four of our better players. We only had three on the interchange bench after that.

At one stage, there was a mini-riot taking place when some of the Australians went on the attack (with the ball this time) and scored a goal and, despite the fight going on, the goal was allowed!

Then Sean Boylan told the players he didn't want them to play on after the first quarter. I can't say I blame him in a way but still, that wasn't the sort of thing they needed to hear.

After that, the Aussies beat us soundly. That's the strangest part of it all. They would have beat us without resorting to the shit they pulled.

Our shooting was terrible; there's no excuse for it.

Alan summed it up the best. When this circus started, they had the advantage of the tackle and we had the advantage of the round ball. But now, we still can't get the hang of the tackle but they've not only gotten the hang of the round ball, they're better than us with it.

My solution is, get rid of the mark. Then we might see some flow to the damn game.

---

The Aussies are motherfucking, goddamn, scumbag knackers. They shouldn't be let back in the country. That they die roaring.

The referees were a joke. Not a set of balls between the four of them. How in the name of holy hell was there not one red card used yesterday? What do you have to do to get sent off in this game? Shoot someone? It's a damn good thing I didn't have a gun yesterday.

Our shots for overs were absolutely awful but I can't criticise the lads too much; that wasn't football out there.

All in all, a rather shit day at the office.


--

It looks like the GAA wanna pull the plug on the whole thing. I don't want that to happen. When it's played right, it's a good game. And I like the idea of GAA players getting to play for their country. But why does it have to be the Australians? They're wankers.

I'll leave the last word to Sheedy, the Australian coach,

- I think Ireland were the aggressors last week and this week.

Yup, folks, that's the mentality we're dealing with.